Dialogue on Marriage

Person: How is married life? The same as the day you said "I Do", right?

Me: Um, yeah. Kind of like that...but not really.

Person: So?

Me: Well, um...he chews wrong, sleeps wrong, brushes his teeth TOTALLY wrong, does laundry wrong, drives my car wrong.....

Person: He does laundry and brushes his teeth?

Long pause.

Me: Mmmm, yes, I see your point. He is a dream boat. A dream boat filled with red wine and licorice.

It Just Wouldn't Listen!

My life has been taken over by algebra and the required level of technological expertise that math requires in 2006. I have spent more time trying to format my homework assignments than actually completing my homework assignments. I have spent such excessive hours trying to graph y=1/3x+4 in excel that I can't see straight.

My computer called tech support to report verbal abuse and I am looking at charges of violence towards my keyboard. I need to develop some sort of anger management program regarding inanimate objects, because this could get me in trouble. Then again, if the fucking piece of shit would just do what I said, we wouldn't have these problems.

My father taught me the art of taking out anger on random objects. My first recollection of this lesson involved a toilet and gushing water. I also recall him sending a hanging basket of flowers flying into the yard with brute force because "it hit him in the head". Who can blame him, fucking pansies.

My ironing board was almost beat to shit a few weeks ago, and I am pretty certain that my keys were scolded severely for not staying were they are supposed to. How the hell am I supposed to find keys that just wander around the house like drunk sailors? Hmmm?

Anyhow, I think I have made progress on the graphing bit, thanks to my extremely talented and multifaceted friend T-Bone. She knows everything in the whole entire world and I should go to her from now on prior to yelling at things. T-Bone is better than Google.

Ok, now I am off to graph some inequalities! YES!

All is well.

Ok... job is good- didn't throw myself out of the office window. I'm off to the beach in less than an hour and I am so happy. Looking forward to a $12 bloody mary at the airport bar.

Are we there yet?

Yuck.

I may have just committed career suicide.

Wondering Mind.

My mind was a buzzing last night. Zipping around all over town and I couldn't get it to settle down until far past my usual sleep time. Generally, I go to bed at an embarrassingly early hour, but it has been getting later and later. Now I am lucky if I fall asleep before twelve with the assistance of some sort of pm product. I am not going to keep up the sleep meds use though. I don't care if it says non habit forming, everything is habit forming.

A portion of this excess energy is certainly due to my husband's and my rekindled love affair with the gym. I love it, I love it a lot. It may seem a bit sick, but I love feeling good. I would rather feel good from working out that drinking a bottle of red. Well, most days I would rather work out. Some days you still need a bottle of red.

Next reason for this energy is that I am using my brain. Not a lot quite yet, but it is ramping up for future use. Yes, I chose a major. I started class. Yes, this is my final answer. Communications. Hah! I know, I should have known years ago. I like talking, I like writing, I am a communicating wonder girl. Current course: math- algebra to be exact. I have this opportunity to find the area of a circle again because apparently, there is a statute of limitations on how long math credits count. I am not complaining. I am more than happy to spend the next five weeks getting credit for finding the value of x and calling my husband in for reinforcement when I need to find the value of x and y. I am also learning that getting my PHD in THC at U of A did not wipe out all prior knowledge. For example, I totally knew that three angles of a triangle add up to 180 degrees. How bout that! Hah!

The third and final reason for my current state is live music. One particular session of live music I was a witness to this past Saturday. Muse. I would try to tell you all about it, but I am not a rock critic, and my words can not articulate that performance accurately. It was possibly the best I've seen. Yes, I think it was. They are ridiculous musicians. Ridiculous poets, and ridiculous entertainers.

So, my mind is flying around quite pleasantly this week and may settle down by Thursday.

It might be 100+ degrees out there, but I have one hell of an imagination.

The air conditioning is blowing and the sky is overcast. I'm finding it easy to imagine that it's cold outside- I might need a sweater. Brrr!

Turning on the space heater under my desk, enjoying my coffee, and looking out the window at the frigid weather.

Thank you...

...Lanolin, for reminding me that I am so glad I don't eat meat. She emailed me this bit of ick.

It might be a good thing. It still makes me ill.