Swinkisms

Dialogue on Marriage

2007-10-24T12:10:00.000-07:00

Person: How is married life? The same as the day you said "I Do", right?

Me: Um, yeah. Kind of like that...but not really.

Person: So?

Me: Well, um...he chews wrong, sleeps wrong, brushes his teeth TOTALLY wrong, does laundry wrong, drives my car wrong.....

Person: He does laundry and brushes his teeth?

Long pause.

Me: Mmmm, yes, I see your point. He is a dream boat. A dream boat filled with red wine and licorice.

It Just Wouldn't Listen!

2006-08-09T15:53:00.000-07:00

My life has been taken over by algebra and the required level of technological expertise that math requires in 2006. I have spent more time trying to format my homework assignments than actually completing my homework assignments. I have spent such excessive hours trying to graph y=1/3x+4 in excel that I can't see straight.

My computer called tech support to report verbal abuse and I am looking at charges of violence towards my keyboard. I need to develop some sort of anger management program regarding inanimate objects, because this could get me in trouble. Then again, if the fucking piece of shit would just do what I said, we wouldn't have these problems.

My father taught me the art of taking out anger on random objects. My first recollection of this lesson involved a toilet and gushing water. I also recall him sending a hanging basket of flowers flying into the yard with brute force because "it hit him in the head". Who can blame him, fucking pansies.

My ironing board was almost beat to shit a few weeks ago, and I am pretty certain that my keys were scolded severely for not staying were they are supposed to. How the hell am I supposed to find keys that just wander around the house like drunk sailors? Hmmm?

Anyhow, I think I have made progress on the graphing bit, thanks to my extremely talented and multifaceted friend T-Bone. She knows everything in the whole entire world and I should go to her from now on prior to yelling at things. T-Bone is better than Google.

Ok, now I am off to graph some inequalities! YES!

All is well.

2006-08-04T12:22:00.000-07:00

Ok... job is good- didn't throw myself out of the office window. I'm off to the beach in less than an hour and I am so happy. Looking forward to a $12 bloody mary at the airport bar.

Are we there yet?

Yuck.

2006-08-02T13:23:00.000-07:00

I may have just committed career suicide.

Wondering Mind.

2006-07-25T11:21:00.000-07:00

My mind was a buzzing last night. Zipping around all over town and I couldn't get it to settle down until far past my usual sleep time. Generally, I go to bed at an embarrassingly early hour, but it has been getting later and later. Now I am lucky if I fall asleep before twelve with the assistance of some sort of pm product. I am not going to keep up the sleep meds use though. I don't care if it says non habit forming, everything is habit forming.

A portion of this excess energy is certainly due to my husband's and my rekindled love affair with the gym. I love it, I love it a lot. It may seem a bit sick, but I love feeling good. I would rather feel good from working out that drinking a bottle of red. Well, most days I would rather work out. Some days you still need a bottle of red.

Next reason for this energy is that I am using my brain. Not a lot quite yet, but it is ramping up for future use. Yes, I chose a major. I started class. Yes, this is my final answer. Communications. Hah! I know, I should have known years ago. I like talking, I like writing, I am a communicating wonder girl. Current course: math- algebra to be exact. I have this opportunity to find the area of a circle again because apparently, there is a statute of limitations on how long math credits count. I am not complaining. I am more than happy to spend the next five weeks getting credit for finding the value of x and calling my husband in for reinforcement when I need to find the value of x and y. I am also learning that getting my PHD in THC at U of A did not wipe out all prior knowledge. For example, I totally knew that three angles of a triangle add up to 180 degrees. How bout that! Hah!

The third and final reason for my current state is live music. One particular session of live music I was a witness to this past Saturday. Muse. I would try to tell you all about it, but I am not a rock critic, and my words can not articulate that performance accurately. It was possibly the best I've seen. Yes, I think it was. They are ridiculous musicians. Ridiculous poets, and ridiculous entertainers.

So, my mind is flying around quite pleasantly this week and may settle down by Thursday.

It might be 100+ degrees out there, but I have one hell of an imagination.

2006-07-20T08:53:00.000-07:00

The air conditioning is blowing and the sky is overcast. I'm finding it easy to imagine that it's cold outside- I might need a sweater. Brrr!

Turning on the space heater under my desk, enjoying my coffee, and looking out the window at the frigid weather.

Thank you...

2006-07-12T08:37:00.000-07:00

...Lanolin, for reminding me that I am so glad I don't eat meat. She emailed me this bit of ick.

It might be a good thing. It still makes me ill.

Duh.

2006-07-11T11:01:00.000-07:00

Next they will tell us something crazy, like marijuana is good for glaucoma.

Thank you, Roland Griffiths, for this startling information.

I think I may be alone on this one.

2006-06-27T06:58:00.000-07:00

Am I the only person who dislikes everything the Red Hot Chili Peppers have created after 1995? I must be, because they are all over the radio trying to cause me early hearing loss. When I hear their latest single I get that strong urge beat my head against my stearing wheel, just to end the pain in my ears.

Good thing: I can turn the station. Bad thing: Music radio stations in Phoenix are made up of crap, and then some more crap, and then a bit more crap, with up to 4 good songs mixed in to keep me hopeful that one day.....one sweet day it will no longer be 22 hours a day of crap.

Is it time to pay for radio? Perhaps.

If only I could gather my thoughts-

2006-06-22T13:10:00.000-07:00

If only I could gather my thoughts, I might be apt to writing something of interest, intellect or humor. Instead, I write this:

Today, I am incapable of gathering my thoughts. They are strewn about like prom dresses at midnight in spring.

Things that do not mix:

2006-06-19T17:10:00.000-07:00

Rockstar energy drink and Thai red curry with tofu.

Why don't they mix? I don't know. What I do know is that there is a very violent battle going on inside my stomach. This battle has been going on since noon, when I introduced the curry lunch to the rockstar breakfast. It is now 5:15.

Apparently, both sides in this battle are very strong willed and it may be me who dies in the end.

Today: A smidge evil.

2006-06-09T08:59:00.000-07:00

Feeling a little evil today. I have new glasses that are making me nauseous, my mother is coming into town tomorrow, and I ate two bagels for breakfast and feel like a bloated toad. Yes, two bagels- not one. Both of which had cream cheese.

I am going to drink my coffee, make no sudden head movements to reduce the urge to vomit and avoid food for the next 12-24 hours. These combined efforts should assist me in improving my poor attitude.

I hope all who read this are feeling drastically better than I. I will follow up after the caffiene hits my blood stream.

No Salt, Please.

2006-05-31T15:03:00.000-07:00

No, they aren't cold. Do they look cold? Oh, well, yes I have on Uggs and space heater at my feet, but really, I'm fine. No- the temperature is fine, it's just that, well.... You know how some people get cold feet before their wedding? Yeah, I know! I handled it all so well and I never got the cold feet bit. But today, today was something else. My feet caught a chill regarding....my name. Mi Nombre. It's in the mail. Application form SS-5 is en route to my local social security office to legally become Mrs. Notmylastname.

Marriage, easy cheesy. I love this dude- a lot. He is intelligent, ridiculously good looking, and is horrible at UNO- I win 8 times out of 10. He also accepts my use of the term "have a bitchin' summer" regardless of the season or the length of time it will be before I see the addressed person again. He even tried to do my yoga video with me.

But my name.....stings a bit. Ouch. Keep the salt away for a while because I am a walking open wound of last name loss. This pain too shall pass, like the pain of my knee surgery in eighth grade or the pain of losing that 200 pound tumor I dated in college. Like ripping off excess eyebrow growth with hot steaming wax, I will enjoy this in the long run. I will be pleased when cards come addressed to Mr. and Mrs.

However, if any of you consider for one moment discontinuing the use and abuse of my maiden name when referring to me, catching my attention or writing me emails, I will call "friends off". You will have second row seating on my bus to hell, right behind Carrot Top. While drinking beer, gulping tequila, shopping, eating, playing cards, driving, discussing the downward spiral of modern western civilization as a direct result of our current administration- I am to be referred to as Swinker, Swinkie, Swink-er-ama, Schwinkypants, Swchwinkypantalones, Lil' babie Schwinkie, Sister of the big schwinkie, Swank, Schwank diddly dank, Schwink-er-roo, or just Swink. Forget this and you are spending eternity on a bus that is headed to hell and the only thing you can see is the back of Carrot Top's head and all you hear is his misguided attempt at humor.

Understand? Bueno.

I don't like change nearly as much as I like to pretend that I like change.

2006-05-30T13:03:00.000-07:00

Our department moved office buildings on Friday. Let's compare, shall we?

New Office:
Natural light from windows
Softer light from ceiling
Dirty cubicle
Horrifyingly uncomfortable chair
10 less minutes of commute

Old Office:
High cube walls that created a little private cubby hole that I loved.
Chair that I formerly thought of as uncomfortable until I met my new chair.
Dirty cubicle- with my dirt.

Winner: Old office. Privacy wins over almost all other variables. Additionally, although I like to think of myself as free and forward, small things like changing my cubicle can really send me into a tizzy. Tizzy? What the hell is a tizzy? Anyhow, I want my cubby hole back. Maybe if I wear my sunglasses at my desk it will feel like no one can see me. Or....I could hang tapestries from the ceiling down to the floor around my desk. I'm sure the facilities manager has no problem with hanging fabric from the ceiling near electrical outlets.

Yes.......tapestries.

Three day weekend.

2006-05-26T12:30:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhh. Despite the obscene amount of plans we have made, I am going to try and pull out the blender and practice my smoothie making skills (for my new life on the beach I mentioned yesterday). I think the practice run will involve rum, because blenders work better with rum in them. Then, I am going to take a 44 oz cup from the convenience store on the corner, fill it up with my blended rum beverage, grab my book and lay by the pool. If all goes well I will fall asleep and wake up a bit burnt and confused. I will then go upstairs and be so exhausted from napping in the sun, that I will crawl in to my cool bed with cool sheets and take a another nap.

MY IPOD JUST DIED AND NOW I AM GOING TO CRY.

2006-05-25T11:32:00.000-07:00

They started with ebay. Fine, I never really used it anyhow. I just looked at bags that are still too expensive despite the strong likely hood they are fake.

Then they took theedge1039.com from me. My morning show is gone. I get the drive in and that's it.

Next, it was my bank. If I do not balance my checkbook on my lunch, when exactly do you expect me to balance it? Hmmmm?

After the bank it was bits here and there- sudoku, most email jokes...so on.

BUT NOW, now they have gone too far. "They" being the individuals whose mission is to save myself and fellow cube mates from our own inability to focus. They took Pandora.com. What did Pandora ever do to you? Expand your musical horizons? Bring joy to the people you work with? Did it ever prevent me from working? NO, IT DID NOT. It helped. No screaming team on the other side if the pink wall could be heard. Updating my Ipod weekly- not necessary. I had other options. I was a happy camper at my little desk with my earphones and I could just buzz away at my work.

I don't foresee any happy buzzing from this little worker bee for some extended time. I am going to need an appropriate mourning period for this one.

I am going to go rent lounge chairs and sell smoothies on the beach for a living. Or maybe I will look further into that life as a pirate I have considered for so long now. Arg!

5 in 1

2006-05-19T11:52:00.000-07:00

How many times do you write a post, only to have a difficult time making it work in the self allotted screwing off at your desk time, and therefore delete a great train of thought all together?

This week I have typed up posts about:

-The moron who decided that the middle of the Mohave desert was a good place to pull the wagon over and set up permanent camp, thus beginning the misery that is now life in Phoenix- months May through September.

-Britney bashing- acceptable topics: her hair, clothing, personal hygiene, music, dancing, shit bag *fugly husband. Unacceptable topics: her parenting skills.

-The upcoming weekend in San Diego with my girls, hence the proper alignment of the cosmos due to our reunion. Poor San Diego! It doesn't have a clue about what's about to happen!

-My new $24 dress that I am in love with and may not take off until the aforementioned September.

-My ability to write one hell of a run on sentence.

Anyhow- some work, then off to the airport, then on to the bar with my ladies. Yeah! Have a beautiful weekend!

*abbreviation for fucking ugly

This winner is....Me!

2006-05-18T14:51:00.000-07:00

I have won the "Asshole of the Day" award. I managed to, against everything my mother and my days of retail taught me, be the girl on the phone bitching loudly about how long her food court egg rolls were taking and discussing the mass incompetence of every person she had encountered that day. I have serious penance to pay to avoid spending my after life folding t-shirts in a low end mall.

I apologize to you nice man at the quickie sushi place who is earning a living. I was not only a bitch, I wasn't even a bitch directly to you. I was balless bitch who complained over the phone to her husband. My husband who is having a terrible day and just called to get some support and love. Instead I complained about egg rolls. The depth of my wrong doing is inexplicable......I only hope the retail gods can forgive me.

Major: Undecided

2006-05-08T13:57:00.000-07:00

I looked forward to leaving high school for college, to release myself from the awful social structure that was my high school. I loved college, I loved it so much that 8 years after starting college I have total of zero degrees. I left campus, got a fabulous, glamorous job as a phone monkey in a cubicle, and started paying all my own bills. However I never fully said goodbye with an actual diploma. Don't get me wrong, I was educated at Arizona in many ways, including my un-official masters degree in THC.

I continue my education in a meandering path, still pretending like it matters what degree I get and therefore refusing to make a commitment that could potentially place me into the wrong career for the rest of my life. I think I want to teach, but what if I want to do social work? What if I need business courses so that I can open a coffee shop and never make any money at all? What if I need a degree in English so I can perfect my skill of confusing striped shirt guy at the bar and make my husband crazy with my never ending babble about books. The fact of the matter is -as you all know and I now begrudgingly admit- no one gives a shit what your degree is in. Education and job preparedness are not even in the same family of definitions, unless of course you are some sort of thermodynamic engineering microscopic surgeon of birds. In that case your degree matters.

Some one could have mentioned this to me earlier. Perhaps my fabulously witty and consistently drunk English AP teacher could have sat me down and said "Hey, no one gives a damn. You might think the rest of the world has their shit together but they don't. We're all faking it. Everyone is faking it. You will realize in a few years you are smarter than the majority of the population and you can study underwater basket weaving if you choose." Then maybe I wouldn't be so frustrated with zero degrees and no fewer than ten I would like to earn.

I hold romantic ideas about education. Berkley is utopia for me. In my next life I will attend Berkley and I will protest and eat organic bean sprouts every day. I will have long winded discussions with my professor that need to be finished at his or her old house with hard wood floors over a cup of earl grey and a J. I will go on to get my masters degree after spending a summer in Thailand and the fall semester at Oxford- and after all of that I will stay at Berkley to teach, wear tweed and use a big red pen. I will live in a little house and ride a bicycle and use public transportation. I will still drink a lot of coffee.

Don't misunderstand, I love my life. I only wish to be sure that I have multiple lives after this to go down all the different paths I haven't had the chance to go down. Then I could pretend that I know what I'm doing over and over again.

Oh, the quarter life crisis.

Silly Webster

2006-05-03T12:41:00.000-07:00

According to Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, one of the many names I will answer to can be defined as:

swinker
\Swink"er\, n. A laborer. [Obs.] --Chaucer.

Hah! Apparently Webster and I have not spent much time together. I don't even have the motivation today to look for my motivation.

Please forgive spelling errors

2006-04-26T18:39:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh....relief. The urgent care center I went to was so nice, the people were nice, the nurse was nice, the doctor was even nice. I really dislike my regular family practitioner and everyone in his office. So much so that I am considering paying the $50 co-pay for urgent care every time I need a doctor.

Oh, and on top of being nice he gave me percocet. Very nice. Headache? What headache? Oh that. Yeah, um, I can't really feel my face..... let alone my whole head.

I'm going to go play with my dog and watch Seinfeld.

Pain in the brain. Ouch.

2006-04-26T14:52:00.000-07:00

Posting since my return from Vegas has been somewhere on my priority list between re-grouting my shower and organizing my sock drawer. I decided to move it up the list, to fall right before actual work and going to the gym.

Vegas was good, not in a Vegas-y way, but in a hey, my job can be pretty good and there are a lot of nice people out there way. Since my return, I have had a headache. No, not one short headache, or many headaches off and on. Indeed I have had one very long, very painful, I am so sick of being in pain I want drugs that are strong and effective, and only given in a hospital setting kind of headache. I have not yet resorted to actually going to the hospital, but I am considering it. Before anyone freaks out- it is a headache. It is not more complicated. I have seen the best doctors/neurologists across the country and I know what I am to look for in a headache that implies more than my blood vessels expanding and beating against my brain.

How am I typing if I am in this much pain? Well, sleep in not an option. I don't do the sleep thing lately- and really, it is so bad there is not much I can do that will make it worse. I mean, I could try banging my head against a wall but that kind of sounds nice.

In the case that you care to get an idea of my discomfort level- I have had three somas today and 8 ibuprofen. Not only am I still straight sober, my muscles are still in a tight nasty knot all over my back and my head feels like hell. Intravenous administration of drugs by an overweight nursing assistant is sounding pretty good. That, and a shot of chilled patron silver- no lime needed with the good stuff.

I know, I am being a whiny bitchy brat and I need to shut it. I wish I could think of something else. Hold on- I am going to try to do some relaxation exercises and envision happy things like lakes, bunnies, and that Christian Dior bag I did not buy last week. Holding........

No better. I am going to the hospital. I will give an update later- hopefully while full of strong drugs.

VEGAS!!! No, more like vegas.

2006-04-17T09:50:00.000-07:00

Vegas- work? Huh? A lot of things come to mind when I think of the fabulous city of Las Vegas, Nevada. Work, however, is not one of them. So I am off to the land of gambling, drinks, and great shopping to work for the week. Wish me luck in being a responsible employee for four whole days.

I might come back with an obscenely expensive hand bag to off set the instinctive urge to go party hardy. Do you think I can expense that?

Out of the Pits of Crap

2006-04-13T16:17:00.000-07:00

Mmm. Much Better. I had about 4 inches of hair cut off Tuesday evening. Women you trust with your head and scissors+cheap pinot grigio+cheap talk= therapeutic.

And in other news- I have a new favorite website that equals hours of awe inspiring discovery. www.pandora.com. Do it. I promise.

Currently.....

2006-04-11T15:30:00.000-07:00

...wondering why I feel like my spirit was run over by a truck today. I have not felt quite this similar to crap in a long long time. Well, I have felt like crap recently, just not for hours on end. I have had moments of crappiness, perhaps a good solid half hour of crappiness, but certainly not a full day of emotional crap simulation.

In order to combat this serious onslaught of crap, I am going to listen to thoroughly depressing music and feel sorry for myself.

Tonight, after a one person afternoon pity party in my honor- I will get my hair cut, go to the gym, and see if I feel any better.

In need of a good deed?

2006-04-05T08:23:00.000-07:00

My very good friend J is working in Azerbaijan in the peace corps. He is coordinating a project for the school he teaches in. Apparently the education funding is in bad shape, and the building is lacking a little luxury we like to call windows. Well, there are windows, there is just no glass to block the obscenely brutal winters. Now, being a girl who has lived in the desert for 20 years, I am not about to make some poor kid that lives in a messed up place sit in some freezing building while trying to learn. School is hard enough without worrying about your toes falling off.

From the reading I have done on the county of Azerbaijan, there are heavy problems there, and I am very proud of my friend J for the work he is doing. He is not the type to ask for anything, ever. So when he emailed all of us about donating some cash for windows, I knew it meant a lot.

So, here it is- if you have a few bucks to spare (how about that fancy tax refund), please donate to the project. $10, $20, the whole $2000- whatever. You can check your good deed off your
to-do-list for the week.

You can read about the project and donate here.

Don't you feel warm and fuzzy?

Really, I think you rock.

2006-03-29T08:24:00.000-08:00

I read something this morning that made me realize how huge communication gaps can be, even if all parties involved are articulate people. I realized that I need to remember that my intentions are not always the end result. I need to consider how people might see things- in ways other than they are in my head, where everyone thinks I am witty and fabulous.

It also got me thinking about something I say often to my close girlfriends. My closest girlfriends, with whom I share the most obscenely intimate details of life, and vise versa- know this thing about me. However, those other friends- the ones who don't want to know about every nasty detail- may not realize.

The thing is this:

I waist time, I procrastinate, I like to diddle dawdle all over the place. However, I will not under any circumstances waist my time on people who I don't respect. I will give almost everyone a chance (unless you make my skin crawl in the first minute I meet you, like that guy in the car on the way to lunch last Friday) and I will enjoy many peoples company short term. BUT, if you suck, if you are not worth my respect and energy, forget it. You won't be in my email address book, you won't be in my cell phone, you won't get phone calls to go out to Coach House on Christmas break (that last bit was somewhat specific, I know). My respect might not be much, but it is what I have to give.

I think I will go on a full "I think you rock and that is why I call you my friend" campaign this week.

Hungry Monster!

2006-03-28T10:31:00.000-08:00

a hungry monster has taken over my stomach. today I have had:

1 tall non-fat vanilla latte
raspberries (a lot of raspberries)
two pieces of toast with strawberry jam
celery
egg salad

It is 11:36.

What I would like to do now is go to lunch and have red curry with tofu from the Thai restaurant down the road.

What was that you said? Seems like most of the options above are healthy? Not sure what I am worried about? Well, I must mention I have the metabolism of a.... hmmm...... well something with a really slow metabolism, and I have not seen the inside of a gym for weeks. My feet haven't even seen the inside of a running shoe for weeks.

Blubber blubber. Good thing I parked at the far end of the parking lot. I will get some exercise on the way to my curry.

2006-03-22T12:56:00.000-08:00

To the girl who is sitting with in very close range of my olfactory glands:

Why are you eating something that smells like death and destruction and letting it's smell permeate my cubicle? WHY?!?!?!?! Are there no rules regarding appropriate things to eat in your cubicle? Are you not empathetic to the feelings of others? My nose is sad.

Really, if you have to eat whatever it is that is attempting to gas out the office, then why not do it in the lunch room. The lunch room has a door, and people in the lunch room have the choice to leave. I have to be at my desk, because I have to work. If I could move my desk to the lunch room, I would. BUT I CAN'T. That leaves the burden of responsibility with you, the offensive food eater.

This reminds me of the time I went to the lunch room to grab some really bad coffee only to realize the last person to drink really bad coffee did not have the courtesy to start a new pot to brew- leaving me with coffee sludge. SO, I started to make the coffee, and while waiting for it to brew, a guy comes in to heat up his lunch. Only he wasn't heating up a hot pocket, or a lean cuisine, or even last nights tuna casserole. No, he was going to be cooking from raw, in the company microwave, a very cheap looking piece of meat. Meat guy sets the microwave to ten minutes and walks off, like no big deal. I wonder if he knew that not only was he monopolizing valuable microwave time, but that he made me and everyone in there smell like a waffle house line cook.

Moral of the story: keep potentially offensive smelling food out of the office. It is just simple etiquette.

2006-03-20T10:15:00.000-08:00

So many thoughts, little ability to get them typed up into an entertaining and/or concise fashion. I think I will try again later.

Oh, and I am de-toxing from caffeine in order to get my migraines under control. I want to punch some one in the throat, then take a nap. Could be why I was a bit harsh on Pudge. Oops!

2006-03-17T09:35:00.000-08:00

Hmmm. Today is St. Patrick's day. I not only intend to celebrate by drinking (possibly drinking heavily), I wore green to work. I have confused myself for two reasons- 1) although I love holidays and am in no way a grinch, I do not love dressing in the color or theme of the day. I hate it. I strongly, strongly dislike people wearing (not the people, but the wearing of) Christmas sweaters, red shirts with hearts all over them, pumpkin tees with matching rings, dangle turkey earrings- you get the point. I feel like I may as well have put on some dangly plastic shamrock earrings and a blinking "kiss me I'm Irish button". 2) the holiday, as I very narrowly understand it, celebrates a man (St. Patrick), who did great work converting Pagans to Christianity. I don't know why I would celebrate that. I'm not really Christian, and I don't understand why Pagans couldn't be left well enough alone. Perhaps you know the answer to this and can inform me. Really though, I think Paganism sounds just lovely.

With that being said- On this day, along with many other days of deeper meaning and reflection, Americans have found a way to make this an official drinking holiday. And that is something I can celebrate within the comfort of my belief systems.

So, on that note- Cheers to the Chritians and the Pagans who made it all possible, and to the fabulous person who thought of putting green food coloring in my beer.

From Cracker, on fruit snacks:

2006-03-07T11:15:00.000-08:00

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...fruit snacks. i bought hello kitty ones the other day and all twelve packs were gone within 2 days. i always thought it was funny that they called it fruit by the foot. technically i think it's a yard, shouldn't it be fruit by the yard??? or maybe it's a meter, then it really shoundn't be called fruit by the foot, then the obvious name would be fruit by the meter, or fruit by the foot and a little bit. in addition to that if they do want to call it fruit by the foot they should have some sort of perferation at every foot so that you know to eat it by the foot. i don't think i have ever eaten it a foot at a time; pretty much just a bite at a time. so actually i think it should be called yard long fruit by the bite. at any rate enjoy your fruit snacks!!!!

p.s. i think gushers are appropriately named :)

love you,
cracker

On Repeat.

2006-01-31T15:58:00.000-08:00

It's not frequently that I find an album I can put on repeat and listen to for days on end. However, I have a new one. The best thing about this cd: like a good movie or a good book, every time I listen I hear a new lyric or new note that requires me to start the song again- just to enjoy something that much. again. and then again.

Yum. Bright Eyes- Motion Sickness. Song 11 is particularly fabulous.

2006-01-27T11:57:00.000-08:00

Coffee Rehab?

Things that make me happy: Knowing around noon-ish on a Friday that I will be at my desk for another 1.5 hours, while listening to the The Go! Team, while having little or no work to do.

Things that make me unhappy: Having a severe pain which I believe is related to a molar and some neglected dental work. I really ought to look into this.

Speaking of things that make me unhappy- why isn't coffee doing it's job anymore? I am thinking it may be time for a full coffee detox in order to get that fabulous rush back. I can't recall ever struggling this much to get a good coffee buzz going. In fact, I find myself drinking so much coffee that I need a nap. Is that even possible? Is it possible to have so much coffee in your system that you go full circle to fatigue?

I worked at a coffee shop in college, a really great coffee shop that was so much more than coffee. I don't mean it had good food too. It had great people. Odd, funky, fabulous people. And it had the best coffee I can remember having (that is saying a lot, I am from Oregon- where people need coffee just to prevent themselves from jumping into the Columbia river). Anyhow, while working at his coffee shop, I drank enough espresso and so little water during a period of time that I ended up in the hospital with a kidney infection. That gives you some perspective on how severe this addiction is. It is really bad.

I wonder if there is a betty ford clinic for coffee.

2006-01-20T08:00:00.000-08:00

Not as dumb as I look my ass.

I have a new high regard for those who use the internet/computers/technical anything for more than just entertainment or diversion. Simply adding a photo to my profile was quite an event. I almost had to call in a support team. Instead, I struggled by myself, took three times as long as I should have, and saved a smidge of dignity.

That is until I tell the aforementioned support troops about this blog and they learn how dumb I really am.

Snap!

2006-01-19T14:12:00.000-08:00

If Pudge can blog, I can blog.

This is something I have been meaning to do, along with 75 thousand other things. So now I only have 74 thousand nine hundred and ninety nine other things on my list. Sweet!